Thursday, November 27, 2008

Happy Thanksgiving: Holiday Turkey Frame Freebie

As this Thanksgiving comes around I find myself in a very strange position. My seven + year relationship with someone I thought was a decent and caring man crumbled to dust in the span of four short months. This man was my best friend. However, I have never been betrayed this badly by anyone in my life...and my life has not been without its tragedies.

So at Thanksgiving I am asking myself what do I have to be thankful for? Well I can honestly say that there was some good to come out of all the pain and misery. Before this happened I would have said I don't really have any friends. I know people, but I don't go out or socialize with them and we don't talk for hours on end on the phone at night.

But when this upheaval occured I discovered that there are many, many people who care about what happens to me. People at work I thought were just my clients were actually deeply hurt that I was in pain. Several people I thought barely knew me have told me how much I mean to them.

And then there is the internet. I tried really hard not to go into details about this whole ordeal because I did not want my blog to become a bitter place that no one wanted to visit...even if I was giving away stuff for free.

I did mention something when it all happened because I knew my writing would reflect the sadness of my life. What no one knows is that for the last two months I had been trying with every ounce of by being to show my fiance' how much he was loved and how deeply I cared. This was based on why he told me he had left in the first place. He said he felt I didn't love him anymore.

He basiclly let me make a fool of myself the entire four months because there has been another woman and he, while telling me he loved me and wanted to make it work out and moving back in with me in September, was in the process of becoming engaged to her. Yes, we were both wearing his ring at the same time. And he was probably telling us both the same thing: "I love you." I slowly found out what was going on and two weeks ago I told him to leave.

Because he couldn't be a man and tell me the truth from the very beginning, he was a coward. He made me believe that we were going to be ok. If he had just left and said "I've met someone else" then it would have saved me these two months of torment and pain. I honestly believed he wanted us to work things out. Yes, he even made love to me during this time.

How cruel humans can be to one another.

But back to what I was saying about the internet...there are so many of you out there who have stopped by to wish me well (four months ago when I first mentioned this and also now.) People who never visited my site before are saying they are praying for me to feel better.

How wonderful humans can be to one another.

So at Thanksgiving I have decided instead of feeling sorry for myself that some fool hurt me so badly, I am going to be thankful for my true friends who genuinely put themselves before me. A couple of you know who you have heard every detail at least 10 times! But you never tell me, "You said that already." You just listen, and hold me and love me.

I can not thank you enough, so instead I am thanking God on your behalf.

Ok, enough with the sob story....this should be a happy time. So here is today's freebie. It is very small but it comes from the heart. Here is the Holiday Turkey Frame.


Anonymous said...

Thank you! Your blog post will be advertised on the DigiFree Digital Scrapbooking Freebie search engine today (look for timestamp: 26 Nov [LA 09:00pm] - 27 Nov [NY 12:00am, UK 05:00am, OZ 04:00pm] ).

Kyra said...

Sweetie, you did a great step! Getting it all out on your blog is a step to put all this trouble behind you, to be able to close it. Sure, it will take time, but in all trouble always somewhere there is a rayon of light to hold on to. Only sometimes we wear a double pair of sunglasses so we don't always notice that. LOL. Have a great day, big hug, I am proud of you!!

makeyesup said...

Love the attitude that you are showing now. Hope this means that the pain is easing and you realize that you are someone special. We all get fooled sometime in or lives. Maybe it's because we love too hard and can't see others not doing the same. Have a Happy Thanksgiving, and try to remember all that you are thankful for. And yes, there are many of us that are thankful that you have entered into our lives. Take care.

Pattycakes said...

Good for you....release it and move forward. Hang in there, big hugs and big thank you for this frame...I love it! :)

Vana63 said...

Good for you to continue doing what makes you happy and for seeing that internet friends are real friends too :-) Big Hugs, Happy Thanksgiving!!!

Dana said...

It's unbelievable how someone can hurt so badly the one they presume to love. Sharing your story will certainly help you to deal with the feelings you are having. You are in my thoughts. Hugs!